


Painful Memories

by kyloshux



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Loss, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Loss, Love, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 20:50:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9565862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyloshux/pseuds/kyloshux
Summary: Pain, in itself, is an essence of the mind. Your thoughts of your past fill your mind as you missed your long lost family.





	

It was supposed to be a happy ending. 

You were supposed to be happy. To have your husband. To have your family. 

You were supposed to have your happily ever after. I mean, isn't that what all fairytales ended in? You got the guy, you both fell in love, you both got married, you both were looking forward to have a family together. 

Your husband, Luke Skywalker, had begun teaching force sensitive children of all ages at his Jedi Academy. At that time, your son of eight years was training under the eye of his father alongside his cousin, Ben Solo. You were away on D'Qar, being a General of the Rebel Alliance alongside your sister in law and best friend Leia Organa, when you had heard about the mass murder that had occurred at the Jedi Academy. 

What pained you the most was that Ben was the one to betray your husband alongside everyone else at the Academy. Ben was the one that killed all those innocent children. Ben was the one that murdered your eight year old son. Ben was the one that made Luke go into hiding. 

A few days after mourning for the loss of your beloved child, you had been sent into the infirmary once you had been feeling excruciating pain. You listened numbly to the medic as he explained that you had been pregnant two months along but that you had suffered through a miscarriage with no true reason why it had happened. 

"The cause of your miscarriage is unknown to me or anyone else, General. All the reports state that you weren't malnourished or had been drinking. I'm sorry." The medic had told you 

You just nodded absentmindedly, wondering whether or not Luke felt your pain. He had told you many years ago that you both had a sort of Force bond that connected you both together. At any given moment, your husband would be able to pinpoint where you were, what you were feeling, what you were thinking. You wondered whether he would pity you and come rushing to you. Nevertheless, you knew deep down that he would not come and you respected that. 

At times, you would try to find ways to hate Ben Solo but you couldn't. He had been seduced to the Dark Side, it had not been his fault. You knew that your son wouldn't like it if you despised a person for their actions. 

"Not everyone is a meanie, mommy. Daddy says there's always a reason." 

Even after thirty years, your heart ached for the loss of your two children and the disappearance of your husband. You stood beside your best friend who's husband also disappeared after what Ben had done. 

Fighting with a strong iron fist, you and Leia lead the Rebel Alliance's rebellion against the insipid First Order that was lead by the same child that had destroyed your chance at complete happiness. You had met the new force sensitive heroes- Rey and Finn - who had helped in defeating the Star Killer Base and issuing a brief victory in part of the Rebellion. Nevertheless, it gave you a great pang in your heart as you remembered when Luke had destroyed the Death Star, how joyful that time had been. 

"Rey will find luke. She'll bring him back to us."

Leia had tried to reassure you but you just brushed off her worry for you, occupying yourself with work that had to be done. You heard Leia mutter about how you and Luke were always so stubborn to accept help that came your way and in part, you acknowledged that. Whenever your mind flooded with memories of your husband and what had happened all those years ago (which happened more than you preferred), you busied yourself with work. You'd rather not dwindle on the past. Your pains couldn't change anything.

When Rey appeared back on the Rebel base on D'Qar with your husband, it felt like your heart was caught in your throat. He had aged so much in the past thirty years that you wouldn't have recognized him if it weren't for his sky blue eyes and his lightsaber that was strapped to his side. Everything around you practically stopped when he locked eyes with you. All your memories of your past flooded into your mind with every step he took towards you. It seemed as if everyone felt the tension between you and your husband as they paved the way for Luke to have a clear path towards you. Leia ordered them to go about their business and they listened to the General as you stood still, not moving an inch, scared that if you made a sudden movement, the whole world around you would combust and your husband will disappear again.

You closed your eyes and let out a shaky breath as Luke was finally centimeters from you with his arms around your smaller body. You had run out of tears but still felt anguish consume you when you felt his presence so near to you.

"I apologize."

Not "I'm sorry." It was "I apologize." It made it harder for you because you knew he meant it. His voice was gravelly, a bit deeper than what it used to be but it still soothed you after all this time. His hands were on your hips,his thumbs rubbing soothing circles onto them as he used to. Your face was buried in the crook of his neck as a habit you used to have whenever you were upset. 

"I love you."

You whispered that back to him and he knew you meant it. After all that had happened, after all that you had suffered through, all all the time he had left you lonely, you still loved it. You wouldn't have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> so much angst omg but yay it came out good I hope


End file.
